Thursday, January 4, 2007
Thinking about 2006...
To begin this reflection, I would like to give thanks to God and i acknowledged Him in all things that He has brought me through and for being so real in my life.
My walk with God this year began very normally. In fact, it was quite unstable. I knew God by the surface since i was young till i reach the age of 13, where through one incident in my school life which changed my life and drew me closer to God. I started this year as a Christian still young and new. I didn't quite do very much quiet time as i am suppose to be doing but just simple prayers at night and at times, for the sake of feeling good. (at least i talk to God... that was how i thought at that point in time).
I begin last year with Timothy as a councillor serving in my school. I was extremely fearful of the unknown, in fact fear of what might happen to me next. I was a person who kept to myself instead of opening myself to others. As a councillor, he appointed me to be a Peer Support Leader to the Secondary ones. I was extremely troubled and scared. WHY??? I ask God but to no avail. I was reluctant to participate in the programme as my thinking is that studies come first and if i go for this camp, how am i going to catch up with my work in school? Such thought haunted my mind day and night. So i decided one day, to let God settle this once and for all. Timothy and I agreed that if God wanted me to go for this programme, allow the school to not conduct any lessons during the camp days. This was one of God's first sign of sovereignty in my life. True enough, during the camp days, my batch of students have to go through a socical attique course. I have to follow God's decision so i went with an open heart and mind. This was God's work in my life last year.
God open me up a lot through out the year. He gave me a wonderful family (YEA!!!!!) with wonderful fathers (YIPPEE!!! :) ) to take care of us. He made me stronger through many events. I could feel him mending my life, removing things that is not right. I began to gain much greater confidence in whatever i was doing. I made so many new friends last year and was able to get along with all of them without much difficulty. I made new friends like Alan and Xing Ping. They are really a joy to this wonderful family of ours. I remember that in the year of 2006 I went through courses by our church etc. and this really revealed so many truths about God to me. I was truly amazed by what happen as it was beyond my expectations! God was so real! He set me free from bondages I was once held to. He sent my spiritual fathers to be my guide when I was lost and hurt. By revealing all these truths, like what Timothy always say, the truth will set us free. I want to take this chance to thank Syh Leong and Jeffery for comforting me whenever I was hurt and troubled. Thanks DADS! (Haha)
God used many events to touched me, be it miracle catch, cell group, tribe camp etc. , I was always touched. I always am able to feel God’s grace and mercy upon me and times I would ask myself, am I worthy of this? God told me by His word that He has already sent His son Jesus Christ, of course I am worthy! To me, 2006 was a year where I experience a whole new part of life, undiscovered part. He taught me how to do my quiet time with Him till now; I would pray the least of half an-hour per day! God mould me to become a warrior, a tool that He could use. I could feel it so strongly. He showed me Revelations through out the year though people especially and He too reasoned out with me why He did certain things in my life even though I did not quite like it. I really agree that God’s ways are higher than men and everything that happens is really according to His purpose. God deposited in me a new form of love for the ones around me. Its beyond human explanation! I thank God for that because I know that through this He is also teaching me how to be compassionate! By emphasizing how God taught me, He allowed me and guided me to reach out to those around me and especially last year, it was the very first time I reached out to more than 10 friends! I did manage to bring some friends to church, Praise the Lord, but some rejected me. I learnt that even though they reject me, I mustn’t and shouldn’t give up because those who brought me closer to God didn’t. Likewise as a loving friend I shouldn’t leave them in the lurch! This was the very first year in my entire life where I actually went to those around me in my life and ask them to come to church. Since young I have never had the habit of doing so as I thought that church is just a place I come and sing Hallelujah to the Lord. Nothing more. I didn’t know why I had such thinking but well, since young I was really an innocent boy (not lying) because I was really naïve to things that happen. People thought that I was faking it but I really do not know. I grew up learning a lot of things by myself with the strong morals, values and principles taught by my parents and grandparents. To them, that was very important.
You know, I have always been proud about my God, because I find him just so MIGHTY AND GREAT! Talking about family, I had many conflicts in the year of 2006, my grandma started leaving house because of money matters and such but it was sort of a blessing in disguise because my family manage to get in contact with a relative which we have not contacted for like 30 over years since my parents wedding! I REALLY LOVE MY GOD!!! He works in ways just so amazingly that’s why I can sing the song “I Stand In Awe Of You...” But thank God, my Grandma came back one day before I went for the clan camp. Through the year, God has thought me about learning how to trust him instead of people of this world. Through this, my faith increased by a tremendous amount, in fact, a whole new anointing of faith! Many incidents happen where God really tested me of how much faith I had in Him and He really showed me that I MUST walk by faith! Now, I am not afraid to tell anyone, that I am willing to put my faith in God, because I know He will definitely be there for me and with me! I find that putting my faith in God is a fun and enjoyable thing to do. I cannot explain it but I feel just that joy whenever I put my faith in God. AMEN!
In 2006, I was also trained as a leader and I finally found out that it was not a job for everybody and not everybody might be able to cope with such a responsibility. But once again, all is made possible by the Grace of our Lord, Amen? I was a leader in the Peer Support Programme, and that really allowed me to have a taste the weight I have to carry. God also made me more sensitive to the feelings of others and I really thank God for that. It is really not easy to control my feelings nowadays as I am growing up but I want to testify here that I can because of the Word of God which lives in my heart. I can suggest to you that if you want to know more about handling feelings, the best thing you can do is the read the bible, the book of James and you will be set free! I want to give thanks again for my leaders, for developing me to be greater, stronger and to be bolder. If it wasn’t for you guys, I wouldn’t have made it to who I am now. I thank God for all of you! I just want to affirm all leaders that I really felt your love for our family during the Clan Camp @ Sentosa. When I was hurt, (as some of you may know why) many offered to come to me and to pray for me and by our faith, God healed me! This kind of love has granted me peace and it just makes me feel so at ease! Thank God for all of you!!
Last but not least, I want to thank the Lord for the Holy Spirit. 2006 was the year I encounter the Holy Spirit so strongly. He really changed my life forever. HALLELUJAH!!!! To conclude this reflection, I feel changed, transformed, new and stronger than ever! I will continue to seek God in everything I do and glorify Him. I will never forget 2006 because it was a year of Love for me.
To my brothers Shairul and Jonathan Lee.. Thank you for your love for me because to be honest, no one has ever shown me so much concern the way you guys do. Shairul, thank you for always looking out for me, being my big brother.. JON, thank you for teaching me how to trust the Lord and how to love a brother... I thank God so much for the both of you for the love you have shared with me. Love you Brothers!
To my Fathers, Jeffery and Syh Leong, thank you for your constant prayers and discipline on doing what is right. I just want to affirm the both of you that you all have done a great job! Love you Dads, very proud to be your son!
This verse I want to share with you all for it took my fear away and I hope it can do the same for you. Hebrews 13: 5-6, “Keep your lives free from the love of money & be content with what you have because God has said, Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
God bless
Matthias
BLESSED AT,
11:11 PM
